


Stress Release

by herbesco



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Bathtubs, Bondage, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Massage, NSFW, Named Apprentice (The Arcana), No Smut, Rope Bondage, bottom!Julian, but it is nsfw, implied PTSD, top!Apprentice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 13:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbesco/pseuds/herbesco
Summary: It's a year after their first masquerade, but there's still unresolved tension over last year....





	Stress Release

**Author's Note:**

> Please please please be safe when tying

He was stressed, I could tell. The anniversary for the first masquerade and his hanging was coming up again, and while the city was feeling festive, it brought with it bad memories for him. Our bed was big enough that he didn't fall out of it like he did the first time we shared, and he didn't mean to, but he had been jerking awake in my arms several nights in a row, and I could tell he was nearing a breaking point.

\---

It came that afternoon.

I had just finished setting the table for my lunch when he stumbled up the stoop as he had every day.

When he paused at the door, too long to be unlocking it, I knew and turned to get a second plate from the cupboard.

He unlocked and stooped under the doorway, just as I sat down.

He didn't greet me as he shrugged his coat off, which only served to confirm what I had thought.

He didn't even bother to meet my eyes as he sat down on the ground next to me, head in my lap, arms around my waist, and legs tangled up under and around the chair legs.

I stroked his hair, waiting patiently.

"Can you-?" He cut himself off.

I stayed silent, fingers still moving in his hair as his arms tightened around me, knees curling up off the ground as he silently asked me to finish his unsaid question.

The silence stretched on, and I moved my hand to the back of his head, tugging on the hair gently, "Use your words, Ilyushka."

He curled in tighter, tucking his head further into my lap, and we continued this gentle battle of wills.

He didn't quite uncurl as my stroking turned more into gentle tugging, but a tension seemed to release from his shoulders.

"Can we- tonight?" He tried.

"Use your words for me."

Another pause.

He curled tighter, the tension almost returning. I stopped my tugging and just held his hair.

Neither of us were breathing.

"Please, I- I need it." His voice broke, and so did I.

I pulled his head back away from me, gripping his chin with my other hand, turning his head up to me. He had tears in his eye, and my own vision went blurry at the edges with tears of my own.

"Can you show me instead?" My voice wavered and I almost began apologizing, but when I saw the relief in his eye-

He stood, kicking against the chair legs in his haste, going into the bedroom.

With his back turned, I quickly wiped my eyes, just in time for him to return. His eye was much clearer, and he almost had his signature smirk back as he handed the small bundle of rope to me, tucking his hands away, pleased that he had gotten the message across as easily as he did.

That would need correcting, sooner rather than later.

I smiled and put the bundle on the table, when I looked back he seemed confused until I pulled at his elbow, and he got the message, leaving both hands within easy reach for me.

Slowly, _oh so slowly_, I began pulling at the fingers of his glove.

I had loosed two fingers when he began to get impatient, switching his weight from foot to foot. I knew it wasn't comfortable for him, bent at the waist like that with me still sitting.

"Hold still."

Immediately. His knees almost popped as they went ramrod straight.

"Good," I could have sworn it was a purr, and he all but preened.

I trailed my hand up his arm, flitting across his shoulder, gripping his chin pulling him into a kiss, and he just gave. No hesitation, no playful pretending to fight back, just groaning with need.

I shoved him back to his half-bent position, both of us breathless, as I removed his gloves slightly quicker than before.

"Up," I placed his gloves carefully on the table, and I stood up from my chair, placing my hands carefully on his hips as he stood up straight.

"You are so good for me, you know that? You could never disappoint me." I began slowly tugging his shirt up, "Arms up, Ilya," I finished removing his shirt, tossing it aside, "Arms down, but don't touch," and I pulled him down into another kiss, one hand on his shoulder, and the other at the nape of his neck, fingers tangled in his hair. I could feel his arms twitching as he tried to find somewhere to put them, instinct telling him to hold me back, but my words echoing in his mind. He whimpered, settling on behind his back, stepping into my space as much as he could while still kissing me.

"Where do you want them?" as I said it into his mouth, I worried that he wouldn't know what I meant, but he seemed to understand.

"In front, please, I need to touch you." So small, so soft.

"So good, you can touch now." Immediately his hands came around me, almost lifting me off the ground, we weren't even kissing anymore, just breathing each other in, I changed my grip in his hair, exposing his neck to me.

"Nix..." he groaned, "Please."

"Put me down, Ilya." I gave him a quick peck on the corner of his mouth as a reward when he did so, as I trailed my hands down to his wrists, keeping hold of one as I picked up the bundle of rope on the table, pulling the knot out to unravel it with my teeth. The look on his face was nearly my undoing. Something in between adoration and hunger.

I pulled his hands closer together, and paused there, just looking at them. Works of beauty, tattoo featured prominently. I pulled them up, kissing each knuckle. He whimpered and went still though when I looked back up at him, his head was thrown back, his lips moving in silent prayer. I gave his hands a gentle squeeze and pulling him down into another searing kiss, I began looping the rope around his wrists, finishing it in a neat knot and leaving a tail.

"Shall we move into the bedroom?" With no warning, he whipped his arms over my head, and under my arms, elbows behind my ribs, hands tangled in my hair, and I squeaked in surprise as he picked me up and mashed my lips to his, walking us both to the bedroom, and I scrambled to gain some control back in this new situation, wrapping my legs around his waist to take some of my weight off his wrists.

He didn't stop when he entered the room, moving with purpose to the bed. I realized his purpose when he grunted as his legs hit the mattress and leaned forward, only continuing when I let go of him with an arm to catch us, and he laid me down gently, placing a knee carefully on the bed between my legs, his lips still attached to mine.

I tugged on the hair I had in my hand when I realized I was laying on top of the tail end of the rope I had left, "I think we're stuck now Ilya," he looked at me through a heavily lidded eye.

"What?" He asked, completely breathless, not understanding

"Can you stand back up?"

He blinked, coming partway back from that space behind his mind. His legs tensed, and I sat up with him, helping as much as I could.

"Good, sit down here, I'm going to take your boots off," I patted the bed before standing, and he sat, eye more closed now.

He whimpered as I knelt in front of him, "Use your words, Ilyushka" I prompted gently, beginning tugging on the knot. When he didn't answer I looked up at him. He had tears in his eye, threatening to overflow.

"Please don't."

"I want them off, do you have a better reason?" I asked, voice hard, but a soft face. I didn't quite understand but was willing to work around if I needed to.

"No, don't- you shouldn't- I don't deserve-"

I stayed quiet, letting him work through it at his own pace.

"Please don't kneel."

There it was. I didn't move.

The first tear fell. This was the breaking point, and so much could go wrong, but I stayed on my knees, and let him work through it. I shifted slowly, grabbing the tail of the rope attached to his wrists, and pulling gently, reminding him of- of something. I never had gotten a straight answer out of him.

We stayed like that for I don't know how long, as he cried himself out. When he began sniffing and seemed more pulled together, I stood, pulling my handkerchief out of my pocket, gently tilting his chin up to me. As he tried to raise his hands to take the handkerchief from me, I pulled the tail down, pinning it between my knee and the bed. His eye had closed at some point.

"What's your job, Ilya?" I asked as I began gently wiping his face of moisture, gently pulling the eyepatch away, up above his hairline, keeping his hair out of the way.

"To take care of you." His voice barely loud enough to be heard, but unwavering.

"Good, and what's my job?"

"To make sure I'm well enough for me to take care of you."

"And?"

He paused at that, opening his eyes, "I don't remember, I'm sorry."

Before he could begin crying again I gripped his chin, "To love you unconditionally." I held him there for a moment, letting those four words sink in. "And don't you forget it."

"Yes Nix," his chin quivered, in my hand, I tilted his head down, and pressed my forehead to his, shifting off the rope, allowing his hands to travel. They didn't go far, just up to my waist, holding onto the fabric there. I pressed a kiss to his forehead, and he shuddered.

"Easy, I'll take care of you. Can I take your boots off now?"

He took a moment to breathe, before nodding quietly.

I moved quicker this time, undoing the single knot, jerking the snaps, undoing them in a line, and he gasped, biting his lip. I repeated the actions on the second, he groaned this time leaning into it.

I stood back up, running my fingers through his hair, mussing it a little from where it was held back, trailing them down his jawline, taking his chin gently, and giving it a small shake, "Pick a spot while I go get the rest of the rope, alright?" 

He nodded, and I turned towards the chest we kept extra blankets in, pulling out the bag of lengths of rope. It was on top, and still open from when he got the length earlier. 

I tutted as I turned back to him, not looking at him just yet, "What have I said about keeping my rope nice?" 

He blinked at my change in tone, recovering quickly, "That I should?" I raised an eyebrow, and he corrected himself quickly, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again." 

I caught his gaze, he had settled himself on the chaise, looking anything but apologetic. Sprawled out on it, he looked almost back to himself, but his eyes were puffy, and his nose tipped in red. 

I stalked toward him, being deliberately slow, and I watched his throat bob as he swallowed, suddenly nervous.

"Cat got your tongue?" His voice wavered at that, "You know I'd much rather have your tongue than some alley cat." I reached him, bag held loosely in one hand. He tried to ease the tension by chuckling, but the sound got caught in his throat. "I'll be your alley cat any day Nix." His voice had lost most of its volume and confidence. I dropped the bag at my feet saying nothing. He opened his mouth again, but-

"Quiet. I want to look at you." 

His breathing sped up, and he froze. I smiled softly, clarifying, "You can move, just not your mouth." 

He nodded, biting his lip at that, shifting to a more comfortable position, arms draped over the back of the chaise, legs bent, one folded over the other, somehow already looking thoroughly debauched. 

I tilted my head, looking him up, down, and back up. He squirmed, uncomfortable with the attention. I let him for a while.

I gestured for his hands, and he sat up, and I quickly undid the knot and unraveled the rope around his wrists.

"Stand up and turn around." As he did so, I stooped, quickly retrieving a long length of rope out of the bag, undid the knot, and stepped into his space, running my hands across his sides, and up the planes of his stomach trailing the rope across his skin jumping as it tickled him.

Moving my hands to his shoulders, I trailed down his arms lightly, bringing his wrists to the opposite elbow behind him, looping the rope around where they met in the middle, locking off the tension. 

I paused there a moment, just looking. His breathing had already picked up. 

Keeping tension on the rope in my hand, I passed it over his shoulder, moving in front of him and his eyes fluttered shut. Placing my other hand on his ribs lightly I guided us both down to the floor. Drawing the rope down and across his chest, moving closer to pass it around his back. Dropping it, I took a moment to settle Julian where I wanted him, legs folded underneath him. 

I drew closer, snaking a hand around, and back to the rope, jerking it sharply and making him whine in the back of his throat, I cut it off, mashing my lips to his, all teeth and tongue. He groaned again, deep in the back of his throat, just letting me take what I wanted. Moving my hand to the back of his head, I gripped his hair, pulling him back harshly. His eyes finally opened, fluttering to half-lidded.

I stood, taking him with me, pushing him back onto the edge of the chaise, keeping him slightly off-balance the whole time. I stood, unwrapping the rope as I moved behind him. Settling behind him I wrapped the rope around his arm, right above his bicep, sitting up, I continued around his chest. I repeated the motions, looping the rope around the length attached to his wrists, jerking backward sharply making him gasp. Moving quickly I sent the rope between his arm and ribs, wrapping around the rope that crossed there, repeating on his other side.

I gripped the knot at the center of his back, pulling him backward, I paused, letting him center himself, I reached down, retrieving another length of rope from the bag and set it down off to the side.

Pushing him forward, I continued wrapping, this time closer to his elbow. Running out of rope, I attached the length next to me and continued around his chest. Wrapping a second time, I locked off the tension at his back.

Crossing over his shoulder this time I wrapped the rope through the gap at his elbow, jerking him back again. He whimpered, but something in the sound had changed. I stood, trailing the rope over the opposite shoulder to the one I had already wrapped and moved in front of him. His eyes were still closed and he was biting down on his lip. Placing my knees on either side of his hips, I settled down, pulling his chin down.

"Hey, talk to me, how are you doing?"

His eyebrows were scrunched together, and I moved my hand up, rubbing at the tension there, as he settled.

"I lifted some- a box wrong."

I hummed in response. "Alright, next time remember to tell me."

I made to stand, but the sound that seemed to come from the depths of his soul, "Please, no," I paused, "Not yet.."

"Alright. Easy love, I won't." The wrinkles between his eyebrows had reappeared, I cupped the back of his head in one hand, massaging firmly with the other. He seemed to sink further into the chaise, relaxing more than I had seen him all week.

Slowly, _ oh so slowly _, I fed the rope through the gap between his ribs and elbow on his other side.

"Lay back, Ilya, I've got you." He whimpered, but did so as I guided him down, one hand holding the rope, the other catching his head, and settling him as comfortably as he could be with his arms positioned behind him like that.

Careful not to put any weight on him, I leaned over him, continuing gently rubbing the tension out of his forehead, smoothing my fingers across his eyebrows, moving to his cheekbones, jawline, and down his neck. His breathing evened out, getting deeper, and I knew what he was doing.

"Sit up Ilya, we can cuddle more once I'm done, alright?" He stayed there a moment longer, then, when he gave a small nod, I grabbed the rope across the top of his chest and helped him sit up. I tucked his head into the crook of my neck, and we stayed there a moment as I stroked his torso. 

When I finally leaned away to get another length of rope, he followed my warmth as much as he could, "Easy Ilya, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here." I sat back up and tangled my hands in his hair, dropping the rope within easy reach. 

Working around him, I added the last length of rope, locking off the tension. Passing it back to his front, I pulled him back giving me room to work. I looped it around the vertical portions on either side of his collar bone, pulling gently but firmly, knowing he needed to feel it. 

His head had been tilted back, but as I passed it back around, tied off, and neatened the end, he tipped forward, lips parted, and began nuzzling into my neck again, this time intending to leave a mark.

"Niiix," he nipped playfully up, "I'm all better now, untie me so we can have some more, _ different _fun." 

I chuckled tilting my head giving him access, indulging in the attention for a moment, "No, I don't think you are. Besides I promised cuddles didn't I? Would you really prefer _ that _fun to cuddles?"

He had reached my earlobe, "Maybe." 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see how you're in a position to make that decision."

Humming he pretended to think, "What if..." I tugged on his hair, "What if, I was very good."

"I think we both know you like it better being bad."

He pressed on, undeterred, "What if I was very good, and we took this to, oh, I don't know, maybe the bed, and _ then _I could be bad for you." 

I tugged harder on his hair, and he groaned in my ear, his lips still attached to it. I hummed pretending to consider. "No, I don't think so." I stood up, heedless of his whine as I pulled away. "Can you be a good boy, or do I need to make you?"

He sat up eagerly, "I can be good, what do you need?"

I leaned over him, speaking softly in his ear, "Stay."

I stood quickly enough that I caught the almost disappointed look in his eyes before it flicked to flirty again. "If you say so Nix. I'll be here. Waiting," he bit his lip, "for you."

Turning quickly, I made for the bath room. Nadia had insisted and was kind enough to gift us with. It wasn't a big as her own private bath, but it was plenty big for the two of us on days like this. 

I quickly set to drawing a bath, adding a salt and flower petal mixture, letting the water fill the large basin, and placing towels within easy reach.

Moving back to the doorway, but staying out of sight I kept an ear on Julian. As I did, I finally allowed myself to fret over him. 

I knew anniversaries were hard from personal experience. Asra had tended to get fidgety around this time of year too; before we all got our memories back. He never told me why. I had just felt like I was picking up on his mood, but after last year, I realized I wasn't just reacting to Asra, I was dealing with my own feelings. And I _ knew _Julian was going through something similar. 

By now the bath was almost full, and I could hear Julian shifting quietly on the chaise. I decided I had let him alone for long enough, and moved to into the doorway so he could see me. 

He had his eyes closed again, and was shifting back and forth slightly, not quite straining against the ropes but feeling the resistance from them. I got the fleeting impression that he felt they were the only things keeping him from falling to pieces. I stayed motionless for a while, before moving back and turning off the water. When I got back to the doorway, his eyes were eagerly searching the space.

"A bath? Nix, you spoil me, you shouldn't have."

I didn't answer walking towards him slowly and deliberately.

"I- I stayed, see? I was good. I- I didn't-"

By then I had reached him, and lifted my hand, caressing his cheek. 

He leaned into my hand, nuzzling, and kissing my palm.

"Yes, I saw. So very good for me," I crooned.

Hia breathing went shaky at that. His eyes starting to well up again. 

"Alright, easy, come on Ilya. Let's get in the bath alright?"

I helped him stand, and staying next to him, walked him into the bathing room, helping him into the water, settling him before taking my own shirt and house slippers off and slipping in behind him, pulling him into an embrace, all the while being careful to not put any more pressure on his arms.

We sat like that for a moment, his breathing still shaky. Once it seemed steady enough, I shifted, repositioning myself across his lap, pillowing his head on my chest.

"The ropes are going to get stiff though, I can smell the salt."

"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it."

He hummed in acknowledgment, still feeling the ropes. I could feel his muscles shifting under his skin.

We sat in silence for several long minutes. I pulled at various knots across his back, liking the way he trembled whenever I hit a particularly sensitive spot, or shifting away if I brushed across a ticklish spot.

"Someone died today."

I stayed quiet, knowing that he would need to get this out sooner or later.

"Apparently there was no warning up until he collapsed. His family brought him into the clinic. We did everything we could, but he still died." He took a breath pausing, "Sometimes, I still wish I had that mark, so I could do as much as I used to be able to do. I can't help but feel like it was somehow my fault, and before you say anything, I know it wasn't, but it still hurts, you know?" I hummed in acknowledgment.

"I guess it kinda made me realize how short life really is, how little I've actually done. I mean, I know I've done more than most, but it doesn't really feel like a lot in the grand scheme of things is what I mean."

He took a deep shuddering breath, still feeling the rope. As he breathed back out, I ran a finger between the rope and his skin, checking it. The water had made the rope stick to itself more than usual, and I slowly began the work of untying the knots.

He noticed, seeming to curl in tighter on himself. I paused a moment, waiting for him to uncurl again. It took him a moment, and once he had, I continued to unravel the rope slowly.

I hadn't been keeping a good track of how long he had been in the ropes as I normally did and I was worried about putting too much pressure on his muscles. I knew he would always prefer almost living in my rope, but like I had made him repeat, it was my job to make sure he was well enough to take care of me. I intended to do my job, so as much compensation as it was, I held him tighter as I undid more rope, draping the used and wet rope off the side of the basin.

He didn't ever continue speaking, but he seemed more relaxed than when we had started.

My fingers had gone completely wrinkled by the time I had almost finished unraveling the last rope. Leaving his wrists and chest wraps in place I finally broke the calm silence that had enveloped us. 

"Are you hungry at all?"

A pause. Deep, shuddering breath. And he shook his head minutely. 

"Alright, let's wash the salt off." 

Despite his nod, neither of us moved immediately. 

We sat entwined like that until the water was almost uncomfortably cool before I finally moved.

Tugging gently on the chest wraps I sat him upright, climbing off him and out of the basin, guiding him up and out the same way I got him in. 

We stood there dripping, him bent down over me, and I just held him.

I finally moved, easing his wet pants off his hips, reaching for a towel to dry him off gently.

"What about you?"

I almost didn't hear him.

"I'll dry off next, promise." I knew he'd worry otherwise, and would until I had. I eased him down onto the bench, pulling his favorite sleep pants up his legs as far as possible with him still sitting. 

His eyes were closed again, so I dried off and redressed perfunctorily and quickly leaving the wet clothes in a pile to be dealt with later.

Moving back to him, I stood him up, tying the drawstring on his pants. 

While guiding him to the bedroom he must have opened his eyes, "No show? Here I am emotionally vulnerable, and I don't get a show?"

"Ilyushka, you'll get a show when I decide you get a show, you know that. Now hush, and get in the bedroom." I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, Nix." He tilted his head down, the very picture of reprimanded.

That lasted until we got into the bedroom.

Reaching the doorway, he contorted around me, and despite not being able to stretch out fully, he seemed to take up the entire bed as he flopped down on it. 

"Ilyushka, what do you think you're doing?"

He looked momentarily panicked, "Getting comfortable?"

"Obviously, but there's a problem with how you're going about it." I folded my arms across my chest, trying and failing to remain serious. 

He sat up, still looking completely confounded, so I continued, "You're not getting comfortable with me."

A light of understanding appeared in his expression, "My sincerest apologies Nix, please, make yourself comfortable."

From the movement of his shoulders, it was obvious that he was gesturing to the room as a whole. 

I hummed, pretending to consider his offer. Then, turning I wandered around the edge of the room, not quite ignoring him, but also not accepting his offer. 

Finally leaning against the bureau, I faced him. 

"I'm having a dilemma, and I'm hoping you can help me with it."

"Of course, Nix, anything I can do."

"Thank you, Ilya. See, I'm worried that if I finish untying you, you'll behave badly, and I'm not quite finished with everything I want to do today."

"I hope I'm one of those things on your to-do list."

Ignoring the comment and wink he threw at me, I opened the drawer and pulled out a small container. 

"What's that?"

"A salve. It's supposed to be good for relaxing." I moved toward the bed. "See I want you to be good. But I'm worried that you think you want to be bad. Do you see my problem?"

"I-" his demeanor changed, "yes I think so."

I reached the bed but didn't sit just yet, fixing him with a steely gaze. "I'm glad, but do you have any ideas about how to fix this dilemma of mine?"

He swallowed visibly, "How- how is the salve supposed to be good for relaxing?"

"I gave that some thought, did a quick experiment, and I think it would be a good substitute for massage oil. What do you say?" 

He perked up the minute I said massage, "I always love getting my hands on you, and you always seem to like my hands anyway. Win-win I'd say."

"See that's where I'm worried you won't be good. I want to give _ you _the massage."

I watched the expressions pass through his face. Confusion and disbelief featured heavily.

"As I said, I'm a little worried," I finished with a small smile.

He gulped, looking more at the salve than at me, "I- I- but-."

"Ilya, look at me?" It took him a moment, "Talk to me, what is it?"

"I thought that was my job.."

"What did we talk about earlier? It's your job to take care of me, but it's my job to make sure you're well enough to take care of me."

"I- yes Nix." His eyes dropped back down to the bedspread, but I allowed it.

"Sit up Ilya," I knelt up onto the bed, moving behind him, gently guiding him to lean slightly forward.

Quickly untying the chest wraps I leaned him back, untying the last loops around his wrists, gently, _ oh so gently _bringing his arms around to his front, _ oh _ so careful not to put any more strain on his shoulders than I already had. He gasped, turning his face into the crook of my neck despite my careful movements. Trailing my hand up his chest I held him against me for a moment, slowly rocking us both, gently hushing him.

We stayed like that until his breathing had almost evened out, keeping my arms around his chest I supported him as I guided him onto his stomach.

Starting with his head, running my fingers through his hair, rubbing more tension away from his temples and scalp. Moving onto his neck I straddled him, knees around his ribs, and opened the container, lifting a generous amount onto his back, working it into his skin.

Starting gently I spread the salve across his back, beginning to work at the tight muscles across the top of his back, working my way down once they had released the tension they were holding.

On the edge of my hearing, I thought I caught him mumbling something into his pillow.

“What was that?”

“Remind me to return this favor. Feels so good.”

I just hummed in response, glad I could make him feel like this. 

Working further down his back I kneaded at his muscles, aided by generous amounts of the salve, shimmying down his long body as I went. He seemed to almost visibly melt into the mattress. After a while I ended up sitting on his butt, working at his lower back when he shifted.

"You're going to keep going south right?" His flirting tone was back.

"Well, you have been good, " he groaned at that, "I do think you deserve some sort of reward for that." 

He stretched invitingly under me, "I'm glad you think I do.."

"But, I don't think that's the reward you need."

He somehow sunk deeper into the mattress in disappointment. 

I ran my hands firmly up his back, making sure the salve was absorbed into his skin. Swinging my leg off of him, I stepped off the bed, grabbing a cloth and wiping my hands of the salve. 

"Will you be alright if I go get a glass of water?"

He muttered a yes, tilting his face into the pillow.

Quickly, not wanting to leave him alone I went back into the kitchen, filling two glasses. After a quick debate, I grabbed the salad dishing bowl and two forks, knowing he hadn't eaten anything this morning. 

I got back to our bedroom and paused at the doorway. He was still face down on the mattress but had curled his arms around the pillow, bunching it up under his head, eyes closed now. Still melted into the mattress.

"Julian," he cracked an eye, "Sit up for me?"

He muttered nonsense, pausing for a moment before rolling over and sitting up, scooting back to lean against the headboard. 

Setting my items on the bedside table I crawled over to him, settling into the same position we had taken in the bath earlier. My legs draped over his thighs, as I pulled him into my chest, taking a moment to run my fingers through his hair.

A quiet moment passed, then I leaned forward pulled the salad into my lap, and handed him a glass of water, looking at him expectantly and not moving further until he took several sips. 

Handing him a fork, we sat in comfortable silence, making our way through the salad. 

Once finished we sat there a moment longer, forks abandoned in the bottom of the bowl, holding each other. 

Looking out the window I realized that enough time had passed that there wasn't much point to doing anything else as the sun was setting. I finally moved, setting the bowl back on the side table, and rearranging us into a sleeping position, my legs still draped over his, but still chest to chest as much as we could in this position. 

I continued stroking his back, occasionally snaking my fingers up into his hair as he drifted off, worn out from everything that happened today. 

The sun reached the horizon and I felt my own eyelids getting heavy, and I surrendered to the gentle pull of sleep myself, wrapped safely in the arms of my love.


End file.
